Virtual Time Capsule

Solo traveling?  More like, soul-o traveling.

As you know, I am incredibly big on family.  I wasn’t always close to my brothers.  The youngest memory I can remember was that my brothers would always be in the basement playing Super Nintendo while I stayed upstairs doing my homework.  Growing up, I always thought how unfair it was for my parents to have 2 sons and 1 daughter.  I had no one to play with.  The SNES only came with 2 controllers.  I used to wear my brothers’ hand-me-down corduroy overalls - those were the sheeeezies.  For Christmas, my dad bought 2 nutcrackers for decoration - 1 for each of them.  I got a creepy looking Mrs. Claus.  I wasn’t allowed to the MIB premiere because it was a guys’ night out (I was pissed).  I never got invited to laser tag because it was a guy thing.  They got super soakers and I got a stupid fairy wand.  Okay - enough about the past.

I have two brothers, the 27 year old and the 24 year old.  The 27 year old was always the bright one.  To this day, I envy him for his knowledge, wisdom, and charisma.  So intelligent, so smart, I never figured out how our brains ended up so differently.  Loved to read, loved to learn, loved to fix everything.  He was the one who pushed me in the right direction in regards to school, and to me making a decision about my future.  He always told me to focus in school, and of course, I didn’t listen.  As always, he’s usually right about everything.  He was the person who supported and encouraged me to go for the unachievable, the first person who pushed me to take that leap into the uncomfortable zone, and the first person I called when I received my invitation.  The amount of pride I have in this one being my brother is out of this world.

The 24 year old was the one who taught me how to ride a bike (by pushing me off on my own), and pulling out my tooth by tying it with floss to a doorknob, and the best one, dislocating my arm.  As children, the 24 YO and I horse played a lot, but I was always jealous of the relationship he had with the oldest one.  Video games, computer games, sci-fi, everything.  The 24 YO once grabbed me by the neck and forced me to watch thunderstorms, which explains my deathly fear of thunder and lightening.  He used to tell me how there were sharks in the pool, which explains why I can’t be in the pool alone, even at 23 years of age.  This one’s got the determination to be the greatest at anything he does.  Perhaps it’s a trait also passed down by our parents.  Always the cool guy, very few words.  But the words that are spoken, are words worth holding onto.

Throughout high school, we all lost touch.  I ended up despising my brothers for a lot of childish, stupid, stupid reasons.  I refused to be protected.  In fact, I remember saying “I’m an adult now” every year since I turned 15. I don’t even use that excuse anymore, it’s like crying wolf.  My brother once poured an entire jug of iced coffee over my head because I poured salt in it rather than sugar.  Yes, I did it on purpose.  I did a lot of dumb shit when I was in high school, things that I’m not proud of.  But something that I’ll never forget is that through all of the ups and downs, family stays with you forever.

With all that we have overcome, my brothers have been the two of the most influential people in my life.  They’re so far away, yet if I need help, the’re the first ones to be there.  They have guided me to do what I want, to be who I want to be, and most importantly, they have protected me even when I didn’t need protection.  They taught me to not be afraid of challenge, because challenge brings growth.

We have siblings because of this unbreakable bond.  We all live our own lives now, and though we don’t talk everyday, this relationship we have with one another will always be the same, if not stronger.  I miss my brothers a lot, and I over-worry for them (a trait my mother passed down to me).  But, seeing them happy and living the best quality of life, makes me so proud to be their sister.

Thanks for a great 23 years, and many more to come.  I hope 10 years from now, we’ll be like those families on television that has Christmas functions.  That’ll be dope.  Happy everyday siblings day.

血濃於水

Cheers,

Sis

“Goodwill is the simple state of wishing others well.  You can think of it as a mental muscle that can be strengthened through practice.  Even if your goodwill muscles have atrophied, you can still build them back up…One simple but effective way to start is to try and find three things you like about the person you cant to feel goodwill toward.  No matter whom it is you’re talking to, find three things to appreciate or approve of-even if these are as small as “their shoes are shined” or “they were on time.”  When you start searching for positive elements, your mental state changes accordingly and then seeps through your body language.”

The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane

Dear Myself,

Lately you’re getting more and more upset at little things that shouldn’t matter.  An incident here and it ruins your mood.  Whether you’re at a weird emotional state where you can’t control these over-dramatic emotions, remember how great of a year you’ve had, and how great everything has been.  Leave with a bang, not with the image of things being short of extraordinary.  More importantly, remember compassion, remember empathy, and remember goodwill.  Before you get upset, take a deep breath, count to three, and just remember, there’s nothing that has happened has been worth being THAT upset over.  Smile girl, mom didn’t pay $$$ on straight teeth just to hide them behind a frown.  Most importantly, remember that with everything, this too shall pass.

With the greatest love,

Yourself

Truth. I started drinking black coffee when I wanted to lose weight in high school.  I was pretty overweight, and thought to myself, “how to models live? Black coffee and crackers.” Now I can’t drink coffee with sugar or cream.  Gotta thank my 17 year old self for that one.  If you’re wondering, I lost close to 40 pounds in 9th/10th grade by joining the marching band and the swim team.  Yes, marching helped me lose weight. I love band.

Truth. I’m a sore loser, but I’ll never show it.  In college, I ditched studying for finals to practice NBA2k7 because I lost in public even though it was my first time playing.  I despise losing, and I don’t like being wrong.  I did the same with Guitar Hero, Counterstrike, Age of Empires, and a lot of other games.  Though with Guitar Hero, I never did master the pinky.

Truth. I have no problem admitting I’m wrong, I just really have to make sure I’m not wrong about the same thing again, for my own sake.

Truth. My childhood dream job was to be a housewife.  Yup.  I wanted to be the wife that baked cookies, took care of the children, the American Dream.  At some point it changed to cooking, because I absolutely love culinary arts.  Then, in college, I got busy, stopped cooking for fun.  Hated doing the dishes.  All that piled on.  Now I just watch a ton of cooking shows, and I’m satisfied.

Truth. I don’t like drinking because it doesn’t taste good.  For me, it isn’t like acquiring to the taste of coffee.  Also, I turn red, I get hot, it get’s hard to breathe, etc.  But all in all I just don’t like not being sober.

Truth. Sleeping is by far, my favorite thing to do.

Truth. Music is not my world, but it makes it a lot better.  I enjoy classical music because of how music is being created through incredible instruments.  That’s some real music.  String instruments and the piano are my favorite.

Truth. I take pride in knowing random facts about random things.  I like being in the know that others’ may not know, but I enjoy it even more when we can share that knowledge together.

Truth. I sucked in school.  I would study for days and never achieve the grades I wanted.  Things didn’t click, and I never understood.

Truth. Loyalty is one of my greatest features.  

Truth. I don’t take life serious, until it’s serious.

Truth. I’ve dated some, but I’ve only been in love once.  It was a great love.  It showed me happiness, anger, sadness, independence, codependence, and most importantly, it gave me the me that I am today.  The relationship helped me wake up to reality, to get serious about school, and to get serious about my future.

Truth. I love independence.  I like being alone.  I don’t like being lost, but I like being lost in thought.  I like traveling alone and discovering things on my own.  I like spending days by myself, doing whatever I want to do without catering to other peoples’ wants and needs.  I love not doing anything but doing everything that I want to do.

Truth. I joined the Peace Corps because I truly feel that everyone in this lifetime deserves an equal opportunity to the life that I was given.  It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for me to feel fortunate and to feel grateful.  And if I can help just one person realize the possibility of their future expanding? Then it’s more than I could ever ask for.  I really don’t care about the money, because I have none.  But I care about my overall happiness, and to know that I did what I always wanted to do, that’s something to be happy about.

Truth. Breaking the rules makes me very uncomfortable.  I was once a rebel, but not anymore.

Truth. And this one is a big one.  I believe in moving forward.  Nothing good comes from dwelling or regrets.  You can either fix it, or make sure it doesn’t happen again.  My dad always says, “shit happens.”  And yes, shit sometimes just happens.  Stop wasting your time on what could have been or should have been.  Move forward so it can be.

Truth. I lived a dark 2010-2011.  I was upset at the world, pissed off at everyone, and constantly thought, “why me?”  I had a horrible attitude and a horrible view towards everything, and thought the world was out to get me.  A great friend helped me see the positive in every negative, and taught me to take life a little less serious, and turn things into a positive point of view.

Truth. I’ve had an amazing (2011 2012- )

AFK,

Jasmine

One last truth.  There’s a chance I may delete this tomorrow, because I’m uncomfortable.

I feel nothing.  Your basic level of excitement, but really that’s all.  It’s kind of like going on a work trip, but instead of 3 weeks, it’s 2 years.

French fries, mashed potatoes, kettle chips.

There are so many different types of food products that potatoes can be made into, but ultimately, the dish derives from the starchy root.

When I was 7, I ate mashed potatoes for a year straight.  I’d come home from school, whip some up, and do my homework.  Mashed potatoes was all I’ve ever known.  It was smooth, creamy, hint of salt.  It was my favorite thing to eat in the world, and I wanted nothing else but mashed potatoes.

When I was in 11, I started eating a lot of french fries.  Anytime someone wanted to eat my french fries, I’d reluctantly give it up, secretly smoldering with anger because they were eating my french fries (really though, just get your own).  Ever fry counts.  Crisp, crunchy, salty, and delicious.  It was my new favorite thing.

Since college, I’ve found kettle chips.  Delicious, greasy, but really, it’s that crunch that brings me that satisfaction.  Dip it in some barbecue sauce and it tastes even better.  But on the real, I’ve been eating chips so much that my dentist advised me to stop because it would ruin my teeth.  Kettle chips.  Definitely my new-new favorite thing.

The point of these starchy potato goodness, is that when we feel like we’ve had the best, the best really has yet to come.  You see something you want, dedicate your time to it, thinking you’re satisfied.  But as you grow older, you become wiser, and you begin to question about broadening your vision.  At the age where we’re still discovering and exploring, there will always be something more interesting to the mind than before.

All my mother ever wanted for me was to meet a nice boy, and to hope for a happily ever after.  Because that’s how my parents were.  They fell in love through hand-written love letters, phone calls, and now, with the help of technology, they web cam every single day.  After 28 years of marriage, their love has never been stronger.  If you didn’t know already, I’ve spent 10 months out of the year, for the past 16 years, without my dad.  My loyalty to my family will always remain the same.

We all have a common denominator in knowing what we want, what we like, and who we match with.  The difference is, as we grow older, we realize what fits better in our lives.  The ideal relationship is fighting with a purpose, reasoning with discussion, and communicating through action.  At 23, I am no where near a position where I can spend time on a relationship before my own life is set.  20’s is the decade for when you’re allowed to be selfish, and allowed to establish your own lifestyle before you even begin to consider someone else in your life.  You can only take care of someone else when you’ve successfully taken care of yourself.

False. Right?  What if I, a farmer that was born into a business of agriculture was taught from childhood that apple juice was made from cranberries.  What if my parents had told me to crush the cranberries that we were growing, because it will be the tastiest apple juice known to man?  I will grow up teaching the younger generation that apple juice is forever made from cranberries, and that is fact.

What if one day, a farmer from another country treks onto my farm, and tells me that he makes apple juice from apples, and that is the only way.  What if, he tells me that from now on I will make my apple juice from apples, because that is how apple juice is made, and that’s how apple juice will taste, and it will taste better.

Will I not be infuriated?  Will I not feel insulted?  Will I not feel hatred?

So now what?  Do we start a war? I will not change the way I make apple juice, and neither will the other party.  Do we distance ourselves in order to maintain peace?  Do we go to war until one wins and one loses?  Or do we find a conflict resolution?

If we distance ourselves, and go off on our own and continue doing what we do, nothing changes.  I will continue making apple juice out of cranberries, and he will continue making apple juice out of apples.  Nobody gains, nobody loses.  We are at a stagnate.

If we go to war until a winner emerges, we are risking business, agriculture, and time, on what should be spent on making profit.  And sure, if you want drama, maybe some people will die over it, crops diminished, the whole shbang.

If we come to a conflict resolution, then we create cran-apple juice.  We both would profit, and together, unite to create a better tasting juice than our own products ever were.

The problem is, how difficult will it be to have both sides step away from their pride in order to figure out a solution.  A solution that could benefit not only them, but those who surround them.

And then there’s the prisoner’s dilemma.  What if I agree to work with you, and then as soon as you turn your back, I renege?  Every option is a consideration for success and for failure.  That is human nature.  That is what society is based off of.  The zero-sum theory.

Imagine the zillion-sum theory.  If we both came into this world with the common knowledge that we are here to benefit each other and solely each other, that with two intelligent minds, we can create one unified, glorious objective, how much more of a success can we have?  Everyone benefits, nobody loses.

Now take this thought, and apply it to things that occur in life.  Is it easier said than done? Maybe.  But is it achievable?

Imagine that.

Here’s to another opening in the books! And the final opening in my chapter.

For those who don’t know, I work for Yard House Restaurants as a travel trainer in the expeditor department.  This past month, I spent 20 days in Seattle, Washington, supporting location #43.  All I have to say is, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

For those who know me, they know I’m not someone who throws the word, “love”, often.  I show appreciation, but I don’t show emotion towards people, because most of the time, it’s either perceived wrong, or used to someone else’s advantage.  I walk softly and attempt to carry a big stick.  With Seattle, everyone that I have met have been amazing, humble, and genuine.  Big emphasis on genuine because everyone was there for the same reason I was, for the greater good.  Travel training is an amazing opportunity to visit the country and being able to utilize your skills to strengthen a new-born location.  It’s a pleasure, honor, and an opportunity to be able to do that for this company.  Most of all, the people who do it, have been some of the most inspirational people I have ever met.  Everyone does it for some reason, but that reason is why drives them to be great, and what drives them to wake up every morning, in a different city, doing what they do.

I’ve never had a problem with leaving.  No strings attached; only great memories leave with me.  But with this open, it’s as if I went through a break up, with each and every person that I have met, developed a great relationship, and leaving with the greater possibility of never seeing them again.  It sucks, and it truly is that dark chocolate feeling.  I don’t think I stopped laughing, not even for one day.  While we were all there to make money, the bigger objective was that we were there to make a difference.  It’s an awesome feeling, and I’ll always remember the great times we’ve all spent together.

My life was never meant to be constant.  It was meant for travel, for adventure, for challenges, and for the common knowledge of maybe, one day, I’ll be able to make a difference in someone’s life.  It’s an incredible feeling to know that I went into YHSE, and was able to create leaders out of all of these followers.

With that said, in exactly 4 months, I will be leaving my safe haven, my tree house, my igloo, into a world where I will be slapped in the face with new challenges.  I have no idea how to be a teacher, and I never had any intention to be one.  It’ll be a hell of a challenge, and hopefully, I can create a better tomorrow, by starting with the teachers of tomorrow.

To those that I have had the pleasure of knowing through Yard House, thank you for the amazing memories.  It’s those memories that I will look back on a melancholy day, and smile and remember the great times I’ve had, and remember that even more great times will come.  Because of all of you, I know what happiness is.  

Cheers to the memories, the lessons, and the finest companionships yet.

I don’t like blogs because I respect privacy.  I like the idea of mystery, that you can know nothing about someone, and see whether your pre-meditated judgements are correct or not.  I enjoy the fact all it takes is a few minutes of someone’s time, to understand what they’re made of. To see that there’s more than the appearance, and there’s more to it than meet’s the eye.  It makes the time you spend with someone more precious, and more valuable, and in the end, more respectful.

I don’t like writing blogs because I know I’m writing to an audience, but a part of me thinks that I have to impress this audience.  Then, I take a step back, and realize, this audience is only here to see what I have to offer.  So here’s what I’m offering, and if you don’t like it, you’ll want to click this instead. :)

I have word vomit, and with writing, I can delete and re-write.  So this actually gives me a second to breathe and think.  This is where words stop, and passion speaks.

With that said, here goes: